Welcome to France. Formerly a pit stop in a racearoundtheworld, this scenic country was the sixth pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld. Seriously? You spent two legs in freakin’ France? That’s lazy planning, if you ask me. Anyway, one by one, teams open their clue and admit that they have no idea where they’re headed next, but for once I’ll let them slide because there’s way too many islands in the world and Donald Trump probably owns or owned half of them at some point in his life. The flight to this destination is one big bunch, rendering the first 10 minutes of the episode useless, unless you want to hear “near the front of the plane” seven times, which nobody does.
Getting near the front of the plane apparently pays dividends, because the first three teams to the first route marker fly to the Island of Detours an hour earlier than the stragglers, and that first group is the Halfgay Brothers, the WFCs and Such As, and if, as Caite points out, them being first means the lesbians being kicked off the show, I’m all for it.
Both Detours involve potentially stubborn animals (tortoises and oxen), but I’d pick the one that wouldn’t kill me and that isn’t indelibly linked to the word “stubborn.” Steve and Allie agree with me, but Such As prefer to risk their lives.Then again, waking up for these people is dangerous. When they drop a coconut, the synthesizer of doom sounds, tipping us off that they’ll be penalized later in the episode. Steve and Allie finish their task quickly and adorably and taunt Such As as they pass them, making them my new favorite team, especially since the cowboys are still in last place.
When teams finish their Detour they take boats halfway to another island, and it’s only a matter of time until we get a crossover episode with LOST and the smoke monster kills a team.
Such As learn that they are one coconut short and nearly quit before heading back to get it, giving the lesbians and cops a chance to close the gap. It’s been a while since we’ve seen the cowboys, which worries me…
…and as I type that the cowboys take off, leaving a coconut behind. The synth of doom sounds again, and I’m on the verge of a breakdown.
Steve and Allie finish the leg first, making them Leg F-ing Champs. The half-gay brothers finish just behind them; meanwhile, the lesbians leave a coconut behind just as the cowboys have to turn around. Can they pull out the miracle again?
Yes and no. They make it to the Pit Stop in fifth place but leave the bottle they got at the Road Block, so they have to swim back and the lesbians check in as team number five. The cowboys….are saved by non-Philimination! Next week is not going to be easy. Come on, cowboys…I believe.