After the opening weekend of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest pulled in roughly enough money to finance an NBA team for a year, there was almost no point in arguing that it was vastly inferior to the first installment. After the enticing ending to the three-hour Dead Man’s Chest, though, there was almost no question that any fan of the first movie would invest another three to learn what happens to our heroes in At World’s End. And while a return to the jargoned fun of the first film makes the third entertaining, it’s still too punctured by its own plot contrivances to stay afloat very long.

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Thrity years ago today, a strange film about aliens, evil empires, and a mystical force debuted on a few dozen screens and changed the world as we know it. Sure, Jaws officially started the “blockbuster” trend in Hollywood two years earlier, but Star Wars perfected the idea. Films have come since that have outsold Star Wars, but it still stands in history as one of the biggest and most influential films of all time. I won’t try to philosophize about what the movie did to me when I saw it for the first time, because I don’t really remember. And I won’t reminisce on how much the film mean to me, because it doesn’t mean that much. I really really like Star Wars, and I appreciate its part in cinematic history, but I don’t worship at its altar. At the same time, if it weren’t for Star Wars, most of the movies I love today wouldn’t have been made. And for that I thank George Lucas and his space story. So happy thirtieth birthday, Star Wars. I’m sure the people in the comments will have a lot to say about you.

Early this television season, I quickly embraced Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and praised it as one of the best shows around. Aaron Sorkin responded by getting preachier than an Oblate at a Desperate Housewives convention, and NBC responded by yanking the show from the air, refusing to renew it, and telling fans they could see their precious final six episodes when they were done with the 145th season of ER. That night is tonight, and I have to tell you…I’m not really all that excited. Perhaps it’s because Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds’ End comes out tonight, and perhaps it’s because I’m still getting over last night’s episode of LOST, but I’m not ready to get sucked back into this show, knowing that it won’t be back next year. Of course, I’ll watch the last six installments if I’m home or on tape if I’m out, but I’m not pacing my living room waiting to see what happened to Danny and Matt.

When he first burst onto the music scene as the teenaged frontman of the grunge band Radish, Ben Kweller was all sizzle and no steak. Adored by creative teams at record labels, Radish never caught on commercially, and Kweller broke away from the band at the age of 19 to start a solo career. In his most recent album, a self-titled effort, Kweller finally seems to have settled as a songwriter, reflecting on his erstwhile music ventures and the rediscovery of young love.

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After months of speculation about the future of TV’s favorite snarky college-age sleuth, the CW network finally dropped the axe on Veronica Mars today when it announced its fall schedule. My love for Veronica is well documented, here and elsewhere, and so its cancellation delivers a palpable blow to my Tuesday-night television habits. Series creator Rob Thomas is contracted through the end of June, and rumors abound that he and series star Kristen Bell (pictured, so cute) could start a new show together, possibly within the Mars continuity. At this point, though, I would rather the series just die than continue to tease me with unfulfilled promises of renewal. After the jump, more news on my favorite TV shows.

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As a reviewer, I’ve never felt dwarfed by a band whose album I was about to critique. From Springsteen to the Shins, I’ve always been able to take a step back and listen to the music without feeling an attachment to the artist. But when They Might Be Giants’ new album, The Else, arrived in my mailbox and made its way to my car stereo, I suddenly became nervous. It’s not that I have any great affinity for this band that has been making music since the year I was born – one of my closest friends is a rabid fan girl, but I only have an attachment to a mix CD of their work that she made me. It’s just that their fan base is such a unique niche and their oeuvre is so cemented in the pop culture landscape after 25 years that it doesn’t feel like what I’m about to say is even going to matter. But, because I’m something that resembles a professional, I’m going to say it anyway.

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When I first heard about The Ex, on the MySpace page of growing comedy star Zach Braff, it was called Fast Track and had a decent trailer that showcased the rivalry between Braff’s character and his wife’s paraplegic ex-boyfriend (Jason Bateman). It seemed that, in casting Braff and Bateman, director Jesse Peretz was aiming for a smart, subtle humor that could counterbalance the screwball, slapstick oneupmanship between the two characters. Instead, what Peretz got was a pair of actors hampered by a disjointed script and a movie that has fewer laughs in its 93 minutes than a 22-minute episode of either Scrubs or Arrested Development.

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For better or worse, Cary Brothers is inextricably linked with Zach Braff. So, for that matter, are the Shins, Iron & Wine, and Frou Frou. Garden State was a seminal experience for budding fans of indie music, myself included. But while the Shins and even Imogen Heap had albums available to the brainwashed masses who walked out of Garden State and into Tower Records, Brothers only had a handful of EPs. That problem will be remedied on May 29, when Brothers releases his (yes, Cary Brothers is the name of a man, not a band) debut album, Who You Are. Faithful fans will be happy to know that the full-length release will have been worth the wait.

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Very quickly, this summer is becoming a burden on my wallet. Over the past two days, I have committed myself to attending four major events, each more expensive than necessary, each an inescapable draw. Not to mention the fact that this summer is rich with potential experiences at the cineplex. Below the jump, take time to enjoy the ways I’ve already figured out to waste my cash over the coming months.

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Starring in today’s “Pearls Before Swine” is my sister as Zebra and myself as Pig. It somewhat accurately describes our discussions of digital cameras over the last month.

My Photos (Flickr)
Kelly Anne’s Photos (Flickr)
Pears Before Swine (comics.com)