On Eagles’ Wings

It’s become part of Disney’s regular schedule to release a cheesy sports movie about an athlete or team succeeding in the face of significant underdog odds. As such, Invincible , the mouse’s take on the story of Philadelphia bartender Vince Papale, who attended an open tryout for his hometown Eagles and became a 30-year-old rookie, is necessarily formulaic. Yet for all the additions to the “true” story, for all the scenes you’ve seen before in films from Rocky to Miracle, Invincible finds the heart to stand apart from the crowd as a genuine, moving film.

Marky Mark stars as Papale who, at the beginning of the movie, is like much of Philadelphia: down on his luck. His substitute teaching job disappeared from under his nose, his wife left claiming that he’d never make a name for himself doing anything, and the one thing he and the entire city relies on for an escape – the Eagles – just finished a dismal season. But things start to change when new head coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear) comes to town and announces open tryouts. The idea is a lark for both men – Vermeil wants to shake things up and Papale wants to get on the field just to forget his troubles for a few hours – but Papale soon finds himself in training camp, competing for a roster spot and, it seems, for the hopes of an entire city.

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On Notice: Concert Clappers

At an otherwise enjoyable concert at the beautiful Mann Center in West Philadelphia this past Thursday, I was disturbed by a continually growing trend: concert clappers. Concert clappers are the people who feel it necessary to put their hands together in rhythm with whatever the band onstage is playing. In the comfort of your own home, this is fine, but people paid good money to hear the professionals do their thing. Do you jump onto the field at a ballgame and give Chase Utley batting tips? Besides, the concert was the Boston Pops and Rockapella. I don’t think they need help keeping the tempo. If encouraged, as the crowd was once by Pops conductor Keith Lockhart, please feel free to clap. Crowd participation is important sometimes. Otherwise, try not to let your fellow audience members know exactly how white you are by clapping in your strange syncopated pattern. We need to save that beat so we can tell if someone is having a seizure.

Concert clappers, you are officially on notice. Reverse this trend – it’s already spreading into theatre – and you might save yourself from the board if I ever get a long enough list to warrant one.

Oh Baby

It’s rare to see a sex comedy anymore that doesn’t weave baked goods or bestially into the story. By the fact that it manages to avoid this lowest-common-denominator grab at laughs alone, first-time director Billy Kent’s The OH in Ohio is a refreshing film. It’s such a welcome change of pace, in fact, that you don’t mind the fact that the last half hour feels like pillow talk compared to the fresh, funny lead-in.

The “OH” in The OH in Ohio refers to what’s missing from Priscilla Chase’s (Parker Posey) life – the ability to be on top of her sexual game. She’s got a prestigious job driving business to Cleveland, a perfect house in a fine neighborhood, and a husband (Jack, played by Paul Rudd) who, to all intents and purposes, loves her. But Priscilla’s “frigidity” in the bedroom has turned Jack, and their marriage, cold: he moves out, first to the garage then to an apartment called the “Manly Arms” and shacks up with a precocious student (Mischa Barton); she visits a self-pleasure guru (Liza Minnelli, stealing almost the entire movie in one scene), considers advances from a gay sex shop clerk (an uncredited Heather Graham), and pals around the city with a friend, scoring an endless line of men including local swimming magnate Wayne the Pool Guy (Danny DeVito).

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Donald Duck, You’re Next

The entire basis for my elementary education was shaken today, when a bunch of men in white coats decided that Pluto is no longer a planet. Now, children everywhere will have to remember the planets by the mnemonic device “My Very Earnest Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles, but then took the pickles away 76 years later.” Largely because it has a funky orbit that intersects with Neptune (clearly the one interesting thing about what otherwise is a big rock), Pluto now is classified as a “dwarf planet,” as are Cerers (an asteroid, which I thought was classified as “asteroid”), and Xena the Warrior Planet. I’m sure Happy, Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, and Doc are happy to have them along.

The biggest problem with this decision? Fifty years from now, when these scientists’ children discover that Pluto once sustained life, we can’t say that there’s life on other planets, just that there was once a thriving society on some ice ball.

Hello City

Welcome, one and all, to MovieHawk. I’m your host, Jeff Martin. For those of you who don’t know me…wow, thanks for coming to the site. I’ve written on two other services before now, so if you’ve kept with me all that time and are one of the tens of people influenced by my opinion, well shucks, thanks so much.

MovieHawk is my place to polish my writing skills and share opinions, primarily on movies but also on television, sports, and whatever else I encounter in my life and times. If you want to know more, let your eyes glance to the top of the page and click on the “About” link.

There are a few subtle differences between this and my former site, namely that the movie rankings don’t have a place in the sidebar. Instead, you will see a rotation of the three most recent movies I’ve seen. It gets too difficult to arbitrarily decide whether one three-and-a-half-star movie was better than another, totally different film that got the same rating. If you still want to see my opinion on that, you can always click “Movies 2006 (or subsequent year)” at the top of the page. The site is up and running, so please feel free to poke around while I decide what to post next.

A great man one said that news is a conversation and so, too, should this site be. Please comment early and often. I want to know what you have to say; otherwise, I’m just talking to a firewall.