Welcome to Ouarzazate, Morocco. Have I made any Aladdin jokes yet? Ah, well, here come some more. “Oh I come from a land, from a far away place, where the caravan camels roam. When they cut off your ear if they don’t like your face…it’s barbaric, but hey, it’s home.” Interestingly, those lyrics were actually written with LynLyn in mind. And not matter what you think of the strategery that goes on in this leg, Morocco was the tenth pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld. Last week, your humble recapper was still digesting Thanksgiving dinner and didn’t get to post a recap, but let’s quickly go over what we learned: nice guys finish last. WinWin perpetuated the LoserPack alliance, basically running a terrible leg but resting on the fact that they could beat LynLyn in a footrace to the mat. LynLyn, in their first stroke of intelligence this entire race, ditched WinWin after the boys led them on something like 42 wrong turns complete with stops to ask directions. LynLyn got to the pit stop long before WinWin did, and our friendly Cho brothers were Philiminated. Let’s be honest: they brought a water pistol into the airport during the first leg; we knew they weren’t exactly the brightest racers. With WinWin out of the way, who will be eliminated….next?
Teams raced to Morocco from the Ukraine (the Ukraine is NOT weak!), where Tyler and James were first to arrive. They get lost on the way to the airport, leaving room for Dustin and Kandice to book the last available seats on a flight to Casablanca connecting in Milan. All other teams connect to Casablanca through Paris, LynLyn on a later connection than Rob, Kimberly, and the Addicts. Because they have no friends, LynLyn spends the extra time in Paris studying a map of Morocco. Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice…I mean, in Milan, Dustin and Kandice miss their connecting flight and wind up needing to take a later flight to Morocco. Even so, all teams catch the same flight to Ouarzazate. Wow, that was exciting for all of five minutes. Who needs airport skills when you’re flying to such random places that there’s only one flight and everyone’s going to make it anyway?
Once in Ouarzazate, LynLyn’s studying pays off, as they are first to arrive at the first clue, which points them in the direction of the filming location where Cleopatra and Gladiator were shot and notes that there’s a Yield ahead. They speak very excitedly about taking this opportunity to yield Dustin and Kandice. Once they get there, though, they see that it’s closed for the night. Lead? Erased. Trash taking? Rendered useless. Teams catch up in time for the studio to open in the morning; when the place opens, Rob and Kim and Tyler and James decide not to exercise their yield (stupid) but the Beauty Queens, feeling LynLyn breathing down their necks, yield the moms. I said it once, I’ll say it again: this was a brilliant strategy. If you are in third place of four teams, you want to put as much distance as you can between yourself and the final team. This was smart racing on the part of the Miss Americas.
Roadblock! Chariot racing? Choreographed…but awesome! The three lead teams finish very close to one another, and LynLyn, freed from their yield, finish quickly enough to catch up with Rob and Kim, who get stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. Karlyn suggests “If you have trouble every time you get in a car, then maybe it’s you, not the car.” Also, Karlyn, if you consistently get places after the blondes, maybe it’s not the blondes.
Detour: throwing pots or crushing olives into some kind of paste. If “throwing pots” meant what some teams thought, I could certainly use the opportunity to blow off some steam. Unfortunately, it means making them out of clay. So not so much. All teams choose grinding the olives, Dustin and Kandice rationalizing that it is on the familiar road back to Ouarzazate. The Beauty Queens get lost, though, and pass the entrance to the task, giving everyone the opportunity to pass them. So that plan worked out well.
Because there’s only three stations at which to grind olives, Dustin and Kandice arrive and have to wait for one to open up and can’t simply make up for their stupidity with the fact that they’re better racers than LynLyn. Rob and Kimberly get lost walking to the pit stop, but it’s not enough, and the Beauty Queens finish in last place. Sorry, girls, it’s been…oh, wait. Non-elimination? Add a little bit of luck to the blondes’ resume of decent race skills. They are, however, marked for Philimination, and will have to arrive half an hour ahead of the last place team to stay in the final three. This should be interesting.
This week, every team will be gunning for Dustin and Kandice, and almost everyone for the right reason: because they’re strong. LynLyn, meanwhile, will be doing it out of spite. I guess that’s as good a motivator as having a million dollars. “Hey, we finished in third in the race, but at least the Beauty Queens lost before us.” Yeah, that’s how you’re supposed to play the game. See you at the mat.
Another good recap moosie. Can’t wait till Sunday, the anticipation is KILLING me. Will they all make their flights? Will the weather be an issue (I want someone to wear a winter coat and don snow shoes).
See you in the basement – oops I mean at the mat.
I hope the final leg comes down to a race between LynLyn and the Beauty Queens, because the other 2 teams are too stupid to deserve winning.