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Putting the “Hell” in Helsinki
Welcome to Helsinki, Finland. Known for its lush countryside, rich culture, and….aw, screw it. Here’s why Finland is by far the coolest destination the Race has ever seen:-
Its president, Tarja Halonen, looks like Conan O’Brien. Conan even visited the country and had a sit-down with her.
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Helsinki is the home of Artur Surov.
Finland was…hmm, how do I phrase this without ruining the end of this recap? Okay, let’s try this: Finland was yet another destination…in a racearoundtheworld. Last week, we learned that alliances are incredibly stupid, as evidenced by the fact that the Intersection, a new twist in the Race, forced WinWin to work with the Beauty Queens after the rest of the six pack arrived at the Intersection and teamed up before they got there. The result? WinWin finished fourth, after the Barbies and the Slow Forward teams, while the six pack lost two members. David and Mary, sorry, but you could only be non-eliminated so many times.
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The Blues Are Still Blue
John Mayer has earned himself a sort of bad name in pop music. Because of his soft, well-produced music and sweet lyrics, Mayer has been exiled to adult-alternative stations like Philadelphia’s B101. No serious music fan in possession of all his mental faculties would admit to listening to B101 outside of an elevator. But beyond his radio hits, Mayer has always been capable of putting out satisfying pop infused with blues and R&B flavors. Mayer puts those influences at center stage in his newest release, Continuum. And while the 12-track offering may not convert any new listeners, especially from those who see his name and are tempted to quote a sight gag in Family Guy that says “That’s enough, John Mayer,” Continuum should be recognized as a mature and accomplished album. -
Four Bottles of Morons on the Wall
Welcome to Madagascar. Madagascar borders on the Adriatic, and its chief export is chrome. No, wait, that’s Albania. Let me check my Google Earth. Ah, there it is. Madagascar is a huge island located off the coast of Africa, and if I remember my elementary school education correctly, its chief export is vanilla. Yum. Anyway, big ol’ island was the eighth pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld. Last week…well, last week was rather pointless, as David and Mary flexed all their stupidity muscles and finished last, only to be saved by the second non-Philimination in three weeks. Who will see the edge of Phil’s axe…next? -
Painfully Funny
In discussions of whether or not I was going to see Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, most people I talked to seemed insulted that I didn’t want to be insulted. Sacha Baron Cohen‘s sweet, dimwitted, anti-Semitic, misogynist Kazakh TV journalist is like the unholy hybrid of Punk’d and Jackass, before either existed: he combines outrageous physical gags with the “man on the street” interviews that he forces upon unsuspecting American bystanders. Serves them right for being accommodating, I suppose. The hook that Cohen puts on his character is that, along the way, he exposes the ugly underbelly of American society; the Borat movie was supposed to be the ultimate manifestation of this breed of comedy, and I wanted nothing to do with it. After seeing the film, I’d love to say that I fall in line with the critics and can praise Borat as one of the best comedies of the year, but the theme, the approach, and, indeed, a lot of the jokes, seem too tired to stick. -
Crazy Old Mauritius
Welcome to Mauritius. Yeah, we never heard of it until this episode either. But get this, when the Portuguese discovered the island in the 17th Century, they came upon a new species of bird that they nicknamed the dodo. Teams should feel pretty at home here, then. But, anyway, Mauritius is, uh…French, and stuff. It’s really pretty boring, as far as I can see. That’s the problem when you go to paradise: there’s nothing to make fun of. At least until television stars start driving drunk around your island. Then it gets a little bit annoying. Mauritius, for all its inability to be funny to me, was the seventh pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld . Teams raced here from Kuwait City, where we learned last week…well, we didn’t learn much, per se. It was reconfirmed for us, though, that Peter was a gigantic toolbag, as he and Sarah were uncerimoniously Philiminated, and I mourned for not being able to fit in a The Fugitive joke their entire time on the race. Who will be eliminated…next?
Archive: November, 2006