The best way to Carnegie Hall, the old saying goes, is practice. If the supernatural plot of Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny is to be believed, one can pass right on by Carnegie Hall and start filling stadiums if he or she secures a possessed guitar pick sculpted from the chipped tooth of Satan. The Pick of Destiny is the final frontier for Tenacious D, the portly comedy metal duo comprising of Jack Black and Kyle Gass, having already conquered television in an HBO special, stereo in their self-titled 2001 debut album, and the stage in their countless tours supporting said album. And while the final product is a fine addition to the Tenacious D canon, what you think of it will depend entirely on how much you buy into the proposition that Black and Gass are the greatest band in the world and that, by extension, their movie should be top tier.
The film begins promisingly, as Black sings the rebellious history of young JB in true rock opera style. Troy Gentile, who played a flashback Jack in Nacho Libre, apes Black’s manic mannerisms so well as Lil’ Jables that it’s frightening. Meat Loaf adds a brilliant bit of acting, and shows that he still has musical chops, as JB’s chastising, ultraconservative father. While grounded for his vulgar rocking, young JB is visited by the incarnation of Ronnie James Dio and told that, to truly rock, he must travel to Hollywood; years later, he finally gets there and meets Gass, who teaches him the ways of rock. But they aren’t great enough yet, and they decide to seek out the Pick of Destiny, which has turned every player who has used it into a rock legend.
Unfortunately, the majority of the D’s greatness is used up in the opening rock montage, and by the time JB and KG leave Los Angeles, all the momentum from that sequence is lost. What is left is a series of half-baked slapstick laughs that you’ve seen in countless movies before. Is it funny? Absolutely; after all, who wouldn’t want to see Black, in a mushroom-induced haze, confusing a tree for Sasquatch and later scaling branches, thinking he’s flying, and ultimately falling into a crotch shot? But what’s missing is the Tenacious D bombast – the absolute certainty that the D are the greatest band in the world – that they carried throughout their first album. In their travels to find the P.O.D., Black and Gass seem more tentative than tenacious. The rock returns in full force for a brilliant closing sequence in which Tenacious D challenge Satan (David Grohl) to a rock-off, but by that time the audience has been sitting through an hour of mediocrity.
The film hangs a lot of its hope on the quality of the soundtrack; sadly, it can’t save the movie. “Kickapoo” and “Beelzeboss,” the opening and closing montages, are far and away the best musical selections in the whole soundtrack. A few decent songs, including “History” and “Break In-City,” lift the middle section of the movie, but two better selections, “P.O.D.” and “The Metal,” are stuffed into the end credits.
The scattershot comedy in The Pick of Destiny may be enough to win over the most fervent D-votees, but in the end, the promise of a Tenacious D movie was just too great to live up to. Black and Gass are an entertaining pair, and they’re certainly a blast to watch when they’re at the top of their collective game, a level that is reached not quite often enough in this movie to truly rock.
Rating: * * * of 5