Welcome to Madagascar. Madagascar borders on the Adriatic, and its chief export is chrome. No, wait, that’s Albania. Let me check my Google Earth. Ah, there it is. Madagascar is a huge island located off the coast of Africa, and if I remember my elementary school education correctly, its chief export is vanilla. Yum. Anyway, big ol’ island was the eighth pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld. Last week…well, last week was rather pointless, as David and Mary flexed all their stupidity muscles and finished last, only to be saved by the second non-Philimination in three weeks. Who will see the edge of Phil’s axe…next?

Teams raced to Madagascar by way of Massapequa Mauritius, where Dustin and Kandice arrived first, busted-up Beetle and all. They decide to ditch their dented ride and leave it for a lesser team, setting up a good amount of tension. But the “omg, you guys, i can’t believe they did that! ROTFLMAO!” kind, not the “it will actually affect the way people race” kind. It makes for very dumb TV. Also in the dumb TV category is the consistent non-tension that has to deal with plane hopping in remote countries. There’s one flight, and everyone gets on it. Only when there are multiple flight options does airport maneuvering become interesting. Dave and Mary, then, get to Madagascar on the same flight as everyone else.

When teams arrive at their destination clue box in Madagascar, they run into a new piece of race roadsignitude…an Intersection, which forces teams to pair off and work together. Tyler and James and Rob and Kim quickly form a menage a creepy, leaving the models to wait for the first available member of the six pack, who are all behind after all waiting for each other at the airport. Seriously, you guys. Luckily, LynLyn won’t have them and David and Mary are too spineless to leave their precious six pack, so the girls pick WinWin. The four latter teams go for the Detour, because team Druggie/BoringCouple is already far ahead, chasing the Fast Forward…which is eating cow lips, if you were wondering. I just ate Qdoba for lunch, so I’m not gonna talk about the Fast Forward that much. The four Detour teams all choose Long Sleep - carrying foam mattresses through narrow alleyways - over Short Letter - making your own paper.

WinWin and the beauty queens (best band name ever) work extremely efficiently on their Detour. See what happens when you think outside the alliance box, fellas? David and Mary and LynLyn, meanwhile…well, they’re awful. They can’t put together a coherent team effort, dropping mattresses all over the place, taking the lazy man’s load instead of quicker, smaller bundles…basically screwing every possible situation up. By the time the fearsome foursome gets to the Roadblock, which involves finding things in a crowded marketplace (classic Race), the models and WinWin have finished as bookends to the Slow Forward group. David and Mary finish the Roadblock before LynLyn, but not enough ahead of them to overcome their half-hour “marked for elimination” penalty. The coal miner and his wife, then, are Philiminated. About time. Can they take LynLyn with them?

Next week, hopefully LynLyn will stay at the back of the pack. After they leave, I can safely say the Race is filled with teams I like or am completely ambivalent towards. See you at the mat!

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