Welcome to Kuwait City, Kuwait. Yes, American laziness in naming capital cities has now reached international locales. Soon to follow will be an obesity crisis and an overdependence on technology. It’s going to be fun to watch. Just thinking of Kuwait brings back memories of the early 1990’s, when the First Gulf War, George H.W. Bush, and Aladdin dominated the cultural landscape. It feels like a lifetime ago. I mean, Saturday Night Live was still relevant. Jeez. Anyway, Kuwait and its capital city were the sixth pit stop…in a racearoundtheworld. Last week, we learned that it may be better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but it’s better to get a confirmed flight than to show up in East Jibip with no tickets at all, like David and Mary did. Fortunately, they encountered the first non-elimination leg of the race, and were sent away from the mat Marked for Elimination (coming this Memorial Day to theatres near you). Who will be cast aside…next?

I-Lean is the first to leave the pit stop in Chennai, India, taking with them a video phone with Phil’s adorable little face telling them to get to Kuwait and drive to the “mystery location” shown on the phone. This mystery doesn’t prove difficult to crack, as every single team figures it out before boarding the plane to Kuwait. Hey, at least it’s not “find the world’s biggest chair.” As a side note, should the Weavers be included in the forthcoming Amazing Race All Stars Edition? For comedy’s sake, I say yes.

Once again, air travel is the great equalizer, and even David and Mary, who arrived at the mat, like, 85 hours after everyone else, catch up en route to Kuwait City. Foolishly, they lose that advantage when they wait for a local guide to get his bags at the airport. Local guides are dodgy at best as it is. Waiting for them to retrieve their luggage from baggage claim? I thought being Marked for Elimination would have taught our Kentuckians a thing or two. Unfortunately, they already know two things, and that’s about all their brain capacity can handle.

David and Mary arrive at the Kuwait Towers (our “mystery location”) and the awaiting Roadblock just head of last-place WinWin. Faced with a frighteningly high ascent and the fact that they have to wait for everyone else to finish it before they can try, WinWin decides to…stick around and not go for the Fast Forward, giving it to David and Mary. Listen, I understand the whole “solidarity of the ‘backpack’” thing, but eventually it’s going to bit you squarely in the ass. This is a competition, not a friggin’ social hour. Try to make it exciting. The only excuse for pushing them to the front of the pack is that you think they’re weak and you can beat them later. WinWin are smart, but I don’t think they’re that conniving. So yeah, r-a-c-e, fellas. Oh, and also noteworthy at the Roadblock? Peter makes Sarah do another climbing Roadblock. At this point, all you can do is roll your eyes.

David and Mary get to the Fast Forward, where they have to “brave” a simulated oil fire. In reality, a trained firefighter all but grabs the clue for them. Shaving heads is one extreme of stupidity; this is just inexcusable. At some point the Fast Forward is going to become “first team to the pit stop wins, everyone else has to go back and actually play the leg. Back at the Roadblock, teams construct the puzzle they retrieved from the top of the Kuwait Towers and have it translated to them that they have to get to a certain market for their next clue…

…which winds up being the Detour: Manual (shoveling camel feed into 110-pound portions and stacking the bags a certain way) or Automatic (using a remote control to execute a camel race). Following the exact opposite of the “telegenic Detour” rule, most teams opt for Manual. Those that choose Automatic are confused by the directions. When some of the teams finally make it to the Automatic Detour, you get to see that it is the easiest or most awesome Detour ever, or some combination of the two. Peter and Sarah get particularly lost on the way to the Detour and wind up passing both the Fast Forward and the Roadblock before righting themselves. They get so lost, in fact, that they give up on the whole “robotic camel jockey, robotic leg” karma-chasing and go to the Manual Detour, where they get a clue telling them to give up and go straight to the pit stop. They are mercilessly Philiminated, and don’t waste any time in breaking up. You could fit an entire Army battalion in the gap between them as they trudge away from the mat.

Next week, we get to see car troubles, which are always fun, and single mothers fighting beauty queens, which isn’t as sexy as it sounds. See you at the mat!

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