Welcome to Seattle, Washington. Known for rain, Starbucks, …um…the Space Needle…did I say rain yet? Anyway, this sprawling metropolis in the Upper Northwestern United States is a nice place to be; that is, if you have to be in the Upper Northwestern United States. It’s certainly a lot cooler than Oregon. But what do I know? I’ve been off the East Coast all of five times in my life. Seattle, which may or may not be a great city, was the starting line…in a racearoundtheworld. Twelve teams of two people each started here in a mad dash around the globe for one million dollars. But before we start the Amazing Recaps and talking about unfortunate Philiminations, let’s meet the teams.
Bilal and Sa’eed are big fat football fans from Cleveland, Ohio. And if you’ve ever been to Cleveland, Ohio, you know why they’re trying to race around the world. Anything to be out of that place. But there’s more to these guys than meets the eye. No, they’re not Transformers. They’re Muslim. In addition to trying to win the million dollars, they’re out to show that there’s such thing as a gentle Muslim. Let’s see, a guy named Sa’eed (pronounced, from what I can tell, si-EED) from a culture we ignorantly assume to be universally cruel. Looks like the Amazing Producers are Lost fans.
David and Mary are from Kentucky. He’s a coal miner, she’s his wife. Their daughter is Sissy Spacek. They met while working together at a McDonald’s, and she just took her first vacation ever a year ago. There’s just nothing more I can add, but, judging by their accent and level of annoyance, I’m calling them Team Shoot, Yeah, Shoot.
Duke and Lauren are a father and his lesbian daughter from Rhode Island. They had a falling out because he’s disappointed at her sexual orientation, and they’re running the Race to become closer. Half of me gives them props, but the other half is reminded that whenever people try to reconcile their relationships on television, it brings an overabundance of clips about that subject, and it becomes more about the relationship than the Race.
Dustin and Kandice are just one of the standard Race models thrown into the mix, which is actually fine because of how diverse the field actually is. One is Miss California, one is Miss New York. They’re quite pretty.
Erwin and Godwin! It’s a win/win situation! They’re brothers from the Bay Area, and from what the show tells us, neither is gay. Which, judging by the way they act, is surprising. They look like good racers, but, as we’ll find out, they’re just as prejudiced as the rest of us.
Kellie and Jamie are cheerleaders from the University of South Carolina. Go Gamecocks! One is in broadcast journalism, the other in advertising. That can easily be translated as “they’re pretty and they know it.” But if they’re intelligent, I’ll be happy to see them go far in the race.
Lyn and Karlyn are single mothers from Alabama and, judging by the first leg of the Race, the only thing they know about their home state they learned from Forrest Gump. Who is watching their children?
Peter and Sarah want to get a leg up on the competition. No, they think that two heads are better than one leg. Something like that. They’re triathletes; she has a prosthetic leg. They recently started dating after seven years of friendship. Hey, it worked for Monica and Chandler. I want to call them Team Tripod, but the best comment suggestion could win. Throwing Things is calling them 3 1/2.
Rob and Kimberly are dating, and that’s all I remember about them. Seriously. Better not to be known by me than to be annoying and subject yourself to my bad humor.
Tom and Jerry….I mean, Terry are boyfriends. Terry is an obsessive neat freak, so the things you do on the Race should be just fine with him…oh, boy. They actually seem like a nice, innocuous little team.
Tyler and James. Wow, what can you say? They’re models who met each other in drug rehab. Awesome. I know tons of people who started out as addicts, then immersed themselves in the glitz of Los Angeles, and stayed sober. Good luck. How much crack can a million dollars buy, anyway?
Vipul and Arti are the first Indian-American team ever on the Race. He’s in sales, she’s a nutritionist. They’re a nice, attractive couple. Too bad we’ll only know them for something like 90 minutes.
See you later today (hopefully) for the recap of the first leg.
I like Team Tripod but how about Zed and the Gimp?
Also every time I see Duke and Lauren I can’t help but recite Paul Newman’s famous “Susanne is a Lesbian” scene from Slap Shot.
So far this season I hate everyone, it’s like watching a whole race where everyone is Fran and Barry.
I actually saw this show for the first time ever the other night. It was pretty good. I wouldn’t mind being on it. I bet I could kick ass.
RE: Seattle
How about home of grunge? Not your cup of tea, I know, but still, another reason the city is on the map.
[...] Teams departed for here from Seattle, where the ability to navigate side roads proved particularly useful. While most teams got stuck on the highway because of a traffic jam, Team Differently Abled (for now) jumped off at an earlier exit and navigated their way to first place at the airport. Jostling for airport position is just about the most boring thing the Race does until something like the sixth leg when it really becomes important, so we’re gonna fast forward through all that. [...]